really funny meanings

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end.
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the EIFFEL TOWER, says midway:
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward.
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and later with his bills…